Contest Complete!

July 13th, 2012

1. Jenkem

Yes.  There are no words.  It’s made of poop.

Go ahead.  Pee and poop in a reusable container.  A two liter bottle will work fine.  Finished?  Now seal the top– Saran wrap will do, or a balloon.  Ok.  Perfect.  Now set it out in the sun.  Wonderful.  You’re doing well.  Leave it there.

Has it been a week?  Cool.  Now open it up and huff like there’s no tomorrow– because sadly, for the people who truly use this ‘drug,’ there may not be.  First discovered among Zambian street children in the nineties, jenkem is used by the most destitute inhabitants of African and Asian cities.  Children without food or family fill containers with handfuls of sewage, cover them with plastic, and leave them in the sun. Methane and other fermentation gases become trapped in the container.  Users return a week later to inhale the fumes, garnering a high that lasts around an hour.  Visual and auditory hallucinations take them places their impoverished lives cannot.

There is some controversy surrounding jenkem.  Numerous claims of jenkem use in the United States have been proven fabricated; some doubt whether jenkem is concocted around the world at all.  Whether or not jenkem is as widespread as some sources claim, we can all agree on one thing; it’s a drug to avoid at all costs.  It may not rot your flesh  or kill you in an overdose of micrograms, but it’s made of… it’s made… there are no words.  Please.  Avoid this drug.